How To Be Present

The power of being present in your life

Why is there so much hype around being present and what does it mean? Let’s explore that now. I take a lot of inspiration from watching the regular videos that Dr. John Demartini creates. He shares that when you exist in the now or the present moment, you are at your most powerful, most truthful, and you perceive and act moderately and wisely.

My simple definition of being present is not being caught up in your head thinking about anything! I hope this definition helps you to understand the physiology of that conscious state. When you are in the moment, it’s actually a great experience. I am going to give you two examples of two people who are going for a walk. One is present and one is caught up in their head thinking, thinking, and doing more—you guessed it—thinking.

Person A goes for a walk they are completely present, making a conscious effort not to be distracted by thoughts, and if they come they gently let that thought go and bring themselves back to what they are experiencing on their walk. When person A sees the beautiful trees, grass, people, and surroundings and feels the breeze, sun, or wind on their face, every element—for example, the leaves—stands out and they look bigger and more beautiful. Person A feels the energy and the experience is all-consuming and nourishing on a level that person B will not experience.

When person B goes on a walk, they are consumed with a variety of thoughts about what’s happened to them, what they are going to do that day, what they could have said to this person or that one. Their thoughts are never-ending and all-consuming. As a result, when person B goes on a walk, they miss the raw beauty and nourishing energy of their surroundings. Their walk becomes an automated form of exercise where they don’t return feeling as good as person A. I know if I am present when I wash up, it’s a great experience, as I feel the washing-up suds, I feel every piece of cutlery, and it is just another experience, which can be enjoyable if I don’t label it as boring or tedious. If I am rushing and not present when I wash up, I generally end up feeling more rushed, resentful, and drop something to remind me to be present.

So staying present is my biggest goal throughout every day, as I catch myself going into autopilot mode all too often. When I am in autopilot mode, I rush, my old childhood values take over, and that’s when I make mistakes, miss the moment, lose my sense of power and control, and tend to react to life rather than respond. There are many ways you can help yourself to be more present in your daily life. You will find that all of them have the component or strategy to try to get you to focus on your body sensations or feelings, rather than be caught up in your head thinking and overthinking things all the time. If you are feeling what’s happening in your body, then you are not thinking at the same time. It’s your continual thinking that has the potential to create anxiety, as most people have around 60,000 thoughts per day and because the brains wants to keep you safe, many of your thoughts tend to be negative.

Mindfulness strategies

1. When you walk, feel your feet and shoes. The act of feeling your feet and shoes with each step keeps you out of your mind, and overthinking. 

2. Look around you; what do you see, feel, and hear? Do you hear the birds, the wind, and car noise? Don’t label things when you become aware of them, as this takes you away from being present; just notice them and enjoy them.

3. When you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of thoughts, just gently notice them and bring yourself back to feeling, seeing, and hearing what is going on around you and pay attention to that.

4. If you are worried about anything, then it’s best to get those worries out of your head by either speaking to a counselor, psychologist, or friend, or journaling your concerns in a diary. I use my gratitude diary for everything. I journal what I am happy and grateful for, which includes both my perceived positive and negative things happening in my life. 

5. One of the most important things I have learned is that no person, you, your family, culture or situation is always positive or always negative. We all have a combination of the two sides and to expect that your life, you, or other people will always be (as Dr. Demartini states) nice, and never mean, or your life will have only positive events without any problems, is setting yourself up for a disappointment. Why? As Dr. Demartini explains – people will always live and make decisions according to their hierarchy of values—that is their values from what is least important to what is most important to them. If you’re expecting someone to do something or to change them and that’s not high on their hierarchy of values, then then you may be living in a delusional state, as most people will be nice if you’re asking them to do something that aligns with their values, but may not be that nice to you if you’re expecting them to do something that’s not in their hierarchy of values. So being realistic in your expectations with other people, relationships, and life, being able to embrace both sides of someone (the nice and the mean), and both sides of your life situation is one of the secrets of being able to be more present. Why? You are not constantly expecting perfection in life and your relationships and you know, love, and accept people for who they are, and who they are revolves around their values. You embrace both the pain and pleasure of your relationships and your life situation. You experience more peace as a result of having more balanced expectations and perceptions.